By Trish Corlis

Neighbour at Chesapeake

I am so sad that Fay has succumbed to her battle with cancer. I remember Fay as always dressed in great colour co -ordinated clothing, that suited her pale complexion and red hair. Fay was quite chatty at times, creative and charitable, being a participant in the now defunct evening art/craft groups am sure this was a place where local happenings and 'gossip' were exchanged. I learned at our first Art and Craft Show last year that Fay did a lot of knitting and crocheting of baby wear that was all donated to charities. 

Fay told me she had always been healthy, never smoked or drunk alcoholic beverages and this cancer surgery was the first time in hospital for her, apart from giving birth to her children. However, Fay accepted her fate gracefully and was determined to not be a bother to anyone. 

What a lovely kind, genuine serene lady she was. I will miss her!

By Peggy Dickinson

Aged 97, called mum weekly until mum went to the Palliative Care Ward

I was very upset at hearing of Fay’s passing.  I have lost a kindred spirit and a very dear friend.  I would like to send my condolences to the whole family.

Originally, I sang with Fay when we provided musical therapy at CRGH, then later when I became the volunteer co-ordinator for the weekly fundraising market stall, Fay provided most of the hand knitted baby items for over 11 years. Everything that she made sold almost immediately and thanks to Fay’s dedicated workmanship, we raised a lot of money at the stall for Concord Hospital Equipment

Fay was a very talented, clever, a loving mother and friend to everyone. She always looked so elegant – a classy lady

By Gail Everard

Lifelong friend of Fay’s Daughter Debbie

I think the following words from Carol CC Miller reflect your mother’s approach to life, and to me, epitomizes her grace and elegance to all she approached:  

      “Wherever you go in life, Go with love in your heart, Hope in your soul, and

       Joy in your mind….For love, hope and joy Will take you far."

The world has lost a most beautiful lady. We were privileged to have her as part of our lives and she will be in my heart forever

By Mick Gow

School friend of Wayne

Wayne...and all the extended clan,

It was very touching to be able to be with you all on Friday. I'm so glad that restrictions eased at just the right time, allowing you to have a representative collection of people there to send Fay off. I'm trusting that the "Wake" afterwards, was the more flowing and cleansing part. Then of course some of you were off to Canberra for ANOTHER funeral...what a week!

I cannot say I knew Fay well...but then, I didn't need to...she was always acknowledging, friendly and sincere...what else could some-one who only saw her very occasionally hope for? I do wish I HAD known her better though, for only at her passing do I now know what a fascinating character she was....a "Polymath" indeed, and in fact, a "titian headed" one. Speaking of Titian, as someone who studied art, I knew that name and his work, but didn't know about that colour. I have been onto Google images and, sure enough, Fay did have exactly that coloured hair, and what a very beautiful colour it is. The middle photo of her with the great mass of curly hair brings true meaning to that old expression...."She had a SHOCK of flaming hair". ( mind you, I'm sure that particular photo was hand-coloured and they failed to match her natural, and superior ..."Coppery" colour )

It is very hard to watch those close to you suffer. Somehow though, there is also comfort....because the degree of their pain echoes the depth of the love they had for the departed . In this case, it was extremely apparent that Fay was not just Loved, but truly acknowledged and deeply RESPECTED...and these things are neither un-conditional or necessarily expected. What a marvelous tribute then from all of you.

I did speak very briefly to Vern, Michelle and Clint afterwards and probably did a poor job of expressing some ( intended ) soothing observations. As a non-religious person, I know I tend to put things a different way, but I'm sure the intention is the same. As a Botanist I can't help to make the analogy of a fine specimen tree. Like all living things, these grow, reach maturity and finally go into what's called "Decline". By this time, we have become accustomed to the stately size and shape, of a thing we see as being ....forever. It can of course be devastating to see such a thing lose branches, get "Die-Back" or indeed be blown down or snapped-off by a huge storm. But of course these living things are NOT forever. The remarkable thing, and the thing that gives me huge comfort, is the fact that by the time this stately creature declines...there are already numerous SAPLINGS, maturing and ready to step into the sunlight thus created by their passing elder. This is not a replacement, as there will always be varying degrees of difference ( in Botany, this is called "Sporting" ) None of this of course attends to the issue of the "Soul" or "Spirit" of the departed...which I also believe carries-on...but that's a much more complex theme to discuss here. Each of you five siblings are now a stately tree...bearing your own saplings, throwing protective shade, dusting the ground with nourishing fallen leaves and twigs. In Forestry, we call an area to be logged a "Coupe" and within that "Coupe" some trees will be marked......"H" for "Habitat" ( because it has critical nesting hollows ) and relevantly here..."R" for "Retain". These are the hand-picked, superior mature ( or maturing ) trees that demonstrate vigor and correct form. I can't help but thinking of Fay as a definite "R".

Perhaps if I was a poet, I would write..."through stinging tears, I blink and I see.... a forest of saplings, of our lost... 'Fay tree' "

So, when I watched four siblings step up and in their turn tribute to their beloved mother, I WAS seeing sapling Fays right in front of me. They are not Fay, they do not need or want to be her, but they are unmistakably OF her. If I think of characteristics of that lovely ( dare I say..."Stately" ) woman, and, like her, choose my words carefully...what might they be? To the limit of my experiences of her, I would say she was POISED, ARTICULATE, ALERT of mind and probably very sincere. So...looking at each of the four of you that spoke, you are all unmistakably ( physically ) very similar to her...that's just genes ( and very good ones at that! ) The touching bit is how much she has modelled for you, and helped make you all...articulate, alert, and poised.

Wayne, you so profoundly expressed to us, just how much Fay's use of the word " Valiant" really meant. I am trying as I get older to use better and more descriptive language, and some words are becoming like valuable, and rarely used TRUMPS. Perhaps the greatest compliment I , ( as an outsider really ) can offer, is to apply a word to who Fay was, and more particularly, to how Fay lived. I will reach into the hand of word-cards I have, and, with a flourish, play the..... "Grace" card.

By Cathy Hales

Close Family Friend

Fay was one of the most beautiful women, inside and out, and I am privileged to have had her in my life for so many years. She called me every week for a chat during my 6 months of chemo, just to see how I was going and let me know she was thinking of me. Adored by her own children and loved and admired by their partners, Fay was a true lady and a true friend. She was caring, considerate and pure class. I will miss her dearly! ♥️

By Simon Kidd

From the University of the Third Age (U3A)

It is so sad that our dear friend Fay has passed away. We extend to you and all of your family and many other friends our deepest sympathy. We know how deeply her passing will be felt, for she played such a big part, a really vital part, in so many of our lives. And that includes our U3A group. We all loved her and she played a huge part in cementing our group into a very interesting and congenial mob. We will greatly miss her but remember her with great affection.

By Arlene Lousberg (née Lank)

American Niece

I just cannot believe that your dear mother has passed and my words cannot come close to expressing how I feel. She and I share the same birthday and as she was present at my first birthday, it has been the delight of my later celebrations to send her birthday wishes each April 13. Auntie Fay is a truly unforgettable woman! She managed to develop all the gifts granted to her sweet soul; she is stunningly beautiful, artistically talented, conversationally spellbinding with such tender sensitivities to all living and totally fun-loving with anyone who knew her.

Her untiring passion for genealogy and family history will always be recognized as a wonderful contribution to her entire community and beyond. I still have very fond memories of our times together and know that her heritage will be everlasting. The entire Lank family will be thinking of each of you 'til tears turn to smiles. Our love always--Arlene, Myrtle, Kelvin, Rod Janet, Isabel, Betty and Clarine.

By Elise McKenzie

A granddaughter, this is a letter from Fay to Elise, August 2019

[This letter from Nanna Mac] brings me a lot of comfort to clearly read her mindset and be assured that she was - is - at peace. Perhaps others will be comforted too?

************************************************************

It is barely morning and I lie in the dark. The room is cold with the remnants of winter. I contemplate my situation. I hear the words 'cancer', 'aggressive', 'rare', 'months' - surreal doesn't cover it. The doctors must be speaking to someone 'over there.'

This body that has served me so brilliantly for more than 80 years is now in a state of monumental betrayal. Mental gymnastics are brought into play, gathering strength for this final journey to perhaps " the undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveller " * It 'puzzles the will', alright!

Strength comes from many quarters - a 92 year old husband, very much of the 'old school' whose domestic skills were nil, is now wrestling with the hazards of the stove, microwave, washer and dryer, skills he badly needs to hone so he can cope on his own. I would rate his efforts as valiant.

Strength from the palliative care team, who call and visit from the hospital constantly. Anyone who criticises our healthcare system clearly hasn't been in my shoes. My brother Kevin was actually speechless when I attempted to outline my care.

Strength is drawn from our close-knit family, so loving and helpful and I hasten to add to the list my 2 stepsons and their wives who fill our fridge with food!

Strength is gathered from sharpened ability to enjoy the tiniest of blessings, even my shopping - my former 'béte noire' has taken on an entirely rosy aspect!

Strength comes from the deep satisfaction that ones children and grandchildren bring, knowing they are making their way in the world magnificently, no matter what path they have taken.

A nameless person asked me (after my diagnosis) if I was angry - I looked blank, as such emotion never entered my mind. What a waste of strength that would have been.

Daily, I simply 'live in the moment' knitting, reading, listening, talking and doing what I can.

* Hamlet Act III Scene 1, Line 80

By Cliff McNeil

Genealogical Library friend since 1986

It was probably 1986 or thereabouts that I first met Fay McKenzie-Edmonds. It was, I recall to the best of my ageing memory, at the Family History records repository located near to the Mormon Temple at Carlingford. From that time to the present, it was my good fortune to have enjoyed and benefitted from the extent of her extraordinary knowledge of family history and genealogical resources and all of its avenues of related research. I remember attending her research lectures at the Carlingford Family History Centre following its relocation there, where

I was given the opportunity to assist others who may have needed some guidance with their basic research, while concurrently enabling me to do some of my own research as well. This continued for quite a few years until the research facility relocated once more, to the Parramatta repository where I continued to benefit from Fay’s encyclopaedic knowledge of family history and genealogical research. Fay was one of those people who selflessly gave of her time and skill to assist others with their research challenges, even to the extent, where the need arose, of translating some records, written in classical script, from Latin into English. No research difficulty was beyond her immeasurable capacity to master it. Her assistance was performed unfailingly with understanding, high intelligence, tolerance, friendliness and good humour!

I will be forever in her debt for the assistance she gave me, irrespective of the weather, at the Mitchell Library in Sydney, every Wednesday for many months in 2009, in enabling me to transcribe a hand written account of a voyage from Scotland to Sydney in 1838. I’d admitted defeat about seven years earlier due to the difficulties of reading the script written by an immigrant Scot, while he and his family were enduring a tedious transit to Australia in a pitching sailing vessel, but Fay with her transcription skills, was able to overcome the associated difficulties, thus enabling me to make the journal record of that particular voyage available to those who may also have had immigrant ancestors on that particular vessel. We also collaborated on Wednesdays, some years ago now, at the State Archives Office, which at that time was still located at Globe Street Sydney, in transcribing several years of convicts’

“Applications to Marry”. Fay’s involvement in that undertaking was absolutely crucial to having successfully completed that task.

Even in more recent years, when my visits to the Parramatta Family History Centre, became more infrequent, I was nevertheless greeted with warmth and good cheer; it was always so pleasant to visit there and receive bonhomie and a strong sense of camaraderie! Sadly, when the Parramatta Family History Centre was effectively closed, and researchers redirected to Baulkham Hills, I think I could notice a palpable sense of disappointment and loss, in Fay’s demeanour; I felt that an important part of her raison d’être had been compromised. 

Of course, her family was, as it should be, of the most importance to her. Though I’ve never met any members of her family, whenever she spoke of those family members who attended significant family gatherings at Cabarita, she spoke in the most glowing terms about them all, in particular her brother, when he came home from the US to visit. However, the loss of a daughter only a few years ago, as one would expect, was an event that for her, was understandably very difficult to comprehend.

I have not the slightest hesitation in claiming Fay to be one of my staunchest friends and associates. People of her commitment to both family and society are unique and are therefore irreplaceable; her loss will be felt for eons. 

May God call Fay McKenzie-Edmonds into his presence as she has led a blameless, full and purposeful life and has been a source of guidance, comfort and assistance to so many people! Amen.

From the Newton Family

Long time family friends

With much love and sympathy to you and all your lovely family. So many wonderful memories of my childhood involve your family - we spent a lot of time, together didn’t we?

By John Parton

Latter-Day Saint Church Friend and Student

Fay used to teach me religion when I was probably 9 years old or so and she is one of the teachers I remember best. One time, when one of the other children in the class wasn’t being nice to me, she resolved the situation beautifully. It’s quite something the way that some things stick in your mind over time.

I met her again several years ago when I started to use the family history centre located in this same building. She had worked here as a volunteer for a long time.

We both had an interest in what is termed indexing historical records on computer. When I was indexing from home, I would regularly email her and ask her to pull up, on computer, the same document I was indexing and interpret something too difficult to read. She always could. I really enjoyed coming to this family history centre and index difficult documents with her guidance in an effort to improve my indexing skills.

I called her “teach” because of her teaching me religion when a youngster and teaching me indexing in more recent years.

Our son Jay passed away of cancer on 5th June. For quite some time Fay had sent text messages with encouragement to him, through me. Jay would say: “tell her thanks” or “that’s appreciated” or some such thing. Such messages are both needed and appreciated by those in need. Here is the last text Fay sent me which was on 21 May:

“I am in hospital at the moment but expecting to be home Monday. I am keeping Jay in my prayers. My cancer is progressing. Very difficult times for us. Many of my prayers have been answered. X. Teach

By Frank Shakeshaft

Parramatta and Baulkham Hills Family History Centres

I am greatly saddened by your news and please accept my condolence for her husband and all her family.

I got to know Fay through our weekly get togethers at the Family History centres. She patiently and with great humour, applied a lifetime of experience in this area to check/correct my transcription of some very difficult parish records. She made the whole process great fun and I believe that we both looked forward to our weekly get-togethers; Without her drive I would have given up. For me she was a great example of positiveness in life and I shall miss her for that.

By Ian Skinner

On behalf of Yvonne de Carle - Lifelong friends

Two important events happened in the year 1939. Firstly the Second World War started in September but earlier in the same year two little red haired girls were enrolled in kindergarten at Punchbowl Primary School. They were Yvonne de Carle and Fay Watts. They immediately struck up a friendship which has lasted over 80 years.

Both lived near each other so were able to walk together part of the way to and from school which no doubt strengthened their friendship.

They did well at Primary School and both were offered positions at St. George Girlsʼ High School at Kogarah which they took up. No doubt this would reinforce their friendship as they both traveled daily by train to Sydenham and then on to Kogarah.

Yvonne was more restless than Fay and left school in fourth year but Fay continued on to the Leaving Certificate.

After their school days both would go to the NSW Southern Highlands -mainly Bowral on weekends. The details of their forays there are lost now but at one stage Yvonne became engaged to be married for a short time until she realised her mistake and broke it off.

Fayʼs marriage and move to North America cooled their relationship somewhat but on her return to Australia their friendship redeveloped.

In the meantime Yvonne had married George Foster, a World War 2 veteran. He died in 1974.

Yvonne and I developed an intimate relationship in the latter part of 1977 and I met Fay and Bruce then - actually two months before Bruce was killed. I was on a field trip in Queensland when Bruce died and I know that Yvonne provided a broad shoulder for Fay in her time of grief.

In 1978 Yvonne and I decided to get out of Sydney so we bought a 40 hectare former dairy farm on the NSW North Coast near Lismore. This initially surprised Fay but in no time curiosity took over and she visited a few weeks after we arrived and I remember that she was keen to drive the tractor.

This was the first of many visits. Although Fay was mainly an indoors person - mainly due to her complexion - Yvonne was the opposite - loved farm life, milking the house cow, having a big garden, doing farm work and roaming around the property. Fayʼs visits were a compromise - roaming and indoor chatting.

I recall one visit - probably in the 1980s - it had been raining a lot - not unusual for here. Fay was booked to return to Sydney on the overnight train. We took her to the station and on the way stopped at a cafe for a quick meal. That night it continued to rain - heavily! After a couple of days Yvonne telephoned Fay and asked her to watch the TV evening news. What amazed Fay was for her to see the same cafe now waist deep in flood water. Not unusual for us as Lismore often floods.

By 2003 some slight changes in Yvonneʼs health became apparent. She had a fall which had broken both bones in her leg near the ankle. Macular Degeneration was starting to develop in her eyes - her mother had been severely affected by the disease - and although Yvonneʼs eyesight was not yet affected what would the future hold? She also started to show slight signs of being less mentally alert. With this in mind we decided to sell the farm and move to Lismore suberbia. Visits tended to go the other way and we visited Fay several times in Sydney. Yvonneʼs mental health continued to slowly deteriorate and dementia symptoms became apparent. She was aware that she was loosing her vocabulary and was diagnosed with Frontal Temporal Dementia. Loss of ability to make memories and her old memories were gradually lost too.

Over these years Fay would telephone every few weeks to check on Yvonne. At first Yvonne could have a conversation but gradually that disappeared and for the past few years I would hold the telephone to Yvonneʼs ear while Fay spoke but there was no acknowledgement from Yvonne in return.

The last time we visited Sydney was five years ago. It was then that I remarked to Fay that this would be the last time she would see Yvonne. Fay was surprised at that as she was not fully aware of the extent of Yvonneʼs mental deterioration.

Yvonne is now rigid, unable to stand unaided or walk so is moved in a wheelchair. Although she chatters most of her waking time it is incomprehensible apart from “no” when she disapproves of my actions with her.

As Yvonneʼs mental health deteriorated the friendship between Fay and me became stronger. Our shared interest became the thirst for knowledge of the natural world. We discussed the books we had read or should read and sent links to articles of interest in print, TV, radio and more recently on YouTube. The major areas I remember that we discussed were genetics - especially human, anthropology in general, and history especially Australian history.

Some of you are here to pay respects to a lost relative but I think that all here today would agree that Fay was the best friend that anyone could wish for.

By Sue & Gary Truswell

Lifelong friends

"Fay " the strong Matriarch who proudly wore the badge of Wife, Mother. Aunty, Grandmother & Great Grandmother...wise sage!

Her lineage and legacy continue with her very large family.

Fay was dearly loved & respected, the world a better place having had her presence within it & one who maintained rich & enduring friendships.

There is a beautiful trail of memories for Gary & I that wind back through the years, memory lane is a beautiful place, a trail we both travel again & again because it leads us back to you.

We will miss you so very much, so safe travel now “SPECIAL LADY " Forever in our heart

By the Van Gemert Family

Long time family friends

Gosh you children were lucky to have a Mum like her. She pushed you to be better than you were and or thought you could be. You are all lovely people and a credit to yourselves.

By Elliot Vonthethoff

Partner of Granddaughter Elise

I knew Fay for a relatively short time; however, I saw through her special relationship with Elise what a wonderful woman she was. She will be missed by many.

Thinking of you all in Aus and sending lots of love!

By Ryan Watts

Nephew

We are so grateful to have been included in such a sacred and meaningful event! We were happy to see many of our extended family across the world participate! I am certain, that in addition to Fay’s remote family in attendance, there were many of our ancestors beyond the vail that attended in spirit. Particularly as Fay had spent decades finding and documenting their lives, also allowing a few of us to bring them the gospel in the spirit world!

The talks were not only heartfelt and powerful, but also incredibly inspiring to hear about Fay’s life. I learned a lot about what you all have endured, conquered and thrived, through Fay’s intelligent and compassionate hand.

Although we have spent little precious time together as a family, either in Australia or here in the U.S, seeing each of you stand up and pay tribute to our auntie reminded me that we are indeed family that is knit together for eternity. We share your love for your mother in the same love we feel for our father!

God be with each of you until we meet again!